So today before my shift at work i went shopping.
Shopping is hard enough for someone like me with very difficult self-esteem issues, but the fact that i am also 6"2 does not act in my favour either. My mum and i went to Matalan, a clothing store here in the UK. To my surprise, there was a sale, which i was obviously very happy about.
But then it began.
Searching through racks to find my size, clothes that i actually liked and colours that i would wear in public rather than in the comfort of my own home.
SO MUCH STRESS.
I'm a very stressy person in general, little things could set me off like carrying more than one bag on the bus when i have to sit upstairs (another challenge of mine as i'm too tall). Added with my anxiety, this experience was beginning to become worse and worse. It was hot, i was sweating and i could tell my mum just wanted to grab everything i had in my hand, drag me to the tills and leave.
But the next challenge arose when i realised i still had to try the bloody clothes on.
So in i waltz to the mediocrely clean dressing room and dash into the first cubicle in sight. I proceeded to undress, as one does when trying on clothes, and i start to sweat. i swear to God, i was like a roasting turkey in those dressing rooms. I just needed to be basted, seasoned and served to be the perfect core of a Sunday roast.
In the end i got so stressed and sweaty that i just decided to buy a few items and didn't even bother with the swimwear.
That can be another day's challenge.